I'll Never Forget You You Are My Life Understand
by torriian
Summary: this is really the converse of my other story i'm sorry. Please review if you want me to continue if not i probably won't bother. Rated T just in case
1. Chapter 1

I'll Never Forget You. You Are My Life. Understand?

Chapter 1

That was it; the final beep on the life support machine and the line went horizontal.

I knew that this was it.

I knew it was all over.

Goodbye.

As I sat there I realised how much I would miss her. My best friend. My soul mate. My girlfriend. It was weird to think that everything would go on without her. I couldn't imagine her not being here. Every time I had a problem I knew I could go to her and she wouldn't judge me. I knew she wouldn't tell anyone. I knew she loved me.

As I sat in the room with her family I closed my eyes and remembered everything about her.

The first time I realised I loved her. I was playing football; Me, Josh, Nate, Harry, Ronan, Kyle and Jonah; and she was there playing netball with Lauren, Amy, Jess and Vicki. It was the day she returned back to school. I'd briefly spoken to her as she'd entered the school gate. Was it weird that I was all of a sudden envious of Denzil for being able to talk to her without any complications or questions asked? I'd tried to make stupid jokes in an attempt to hide how I was really thinking. It didn't really work I'm 99% sure that Denzil court on. But anyway there she was on the netball court. I'd never seen anyone with such good aim. She had the look of sunshine on her face. Her blonde hair glistened as the sunlight reflected off it. From then on I knew. I'd fallen deeply and truly in love with Sambuca Kelly. From then on I knew one thing and one thing only. I would do everything in my power to make sure I had her. I spent pretty much the whole game thinking about her. Every time I had the opportunity, when the ball wasn't at my feet, I'd peer over and look at her. I'd never seen anyone look so elegant whilst playing the female version of basketball.

"Oii want to make it any more obvious?" Josh asked.  
>"What"<br>"Oh come on we all know you've spent the whole game looking over at the netball court. So come on which one? And if you say Amy then you're screwed." Josh said confidently and cockily.  
>"OK if you say anything then I swear to god I'll shoot you. It's … It's…"<br>"Oh come on spit it out" Josh continued.  
>"OK it's Sam."<br>"Sambuca Kelly? The Sambuca Kelly? The Sambuca Kelly that got kicked out for drugs? The Sambuca Kelly that's best mates with your ex? That Sambuca Kelly?"  
>"Yes that Sambuca Kelly" I piped up before Josh embarrassed me anymore.<p>

I remembered that conversation with Josh and the first time I'd seen her playing netball as if it were yesterday. Of course it wasn't and everything has changed. Then she was happy, healthy and didn't have a care in the world. Now she was lying dead on a hospital bed after having lost an ongoing battle a brain tumour.

I closed my eyes again and I remembered the next time we spoke.

**A/N - i know its very similar to my other story and in a way it's the same concept just from Finn's point of view. I know that a lot of this didn't happen but oh well. Review if you want me to carry on. DISCLAIMER - i don't any of the Waterloo Road Characters, any of the places mentioned or even any of the story lines. REVIEW x**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I was walking in the gate and there was Wayne. If there was an award for the most annoying person in the world he would win hands down every time. Yet today I envied him. For he seemed able to be able to talk without anything being complicated. I didn't car that he was in fact talking about porn. The fact that he was able to talk to her made me jealous.

I decided I had to talk to her and the best way for her not to suspect anything was for me to be my normal cocky self. I made a comment on the first thing that came to my mind. Which just so happened to be on how much she talks. After my remark she just shrugged it off and walked away. Quite subtle I thought. But obviously not subtle enough as Wayne picked up on it and now he was going to take the mick out of me for it. But my fast thinking meant I was able to deny it and go back to being myself.

That day she had really bad timing. Every time she saw me I was either shoving Wayne up a wall for showing Denzil porn, falling over in football or fighting with Kyle in the cooler.

That was it. I had to tell her how I felt. Lunch. I planned to go find her after lunch but as per usual things didn't go my way. I was once more fighting with Wayne for showing Denzil porn. After a five minute row I went outside in an attempt to cool down before I told her that I loved her. But just as I was about to go in and find her fate intervened and out walked Sam and she came and sat down right next to me.

"You come to have another go?" Being cocky. The only thing I seemed to be good at

"No..." I glanced up at her but didn't take my elbows off my knees. They were a shield. "I'm sorry, I was wrong." She said, not even looking at me.

"Am I hearing things or did you just say sorry?"

"Yeah, because I know it weren't you showin' Denzil porn. That twat Kyle..."

I wished she hadn't said that. If she hadn't I might not have fallen so hard for her. "Go on, one more time,"

She looked away, trying to hiding a smile, "Don't push it." After a second she finally smiled at me. "You really care about Denz don't you?" Well of course it was the only way to not hurt her.

"He's not a prat like the others. Not yet anyway." She can't suspect anything.

"Well I s'pose I just thought...well I didn't think you'd put the effort in."

This made smirk, of course I'd put the effort in. He was the brother of the girl I loved. "Now you know what a great guy I am,"

"Okay," She smiled, like butter wouldn't melt. "So now it's your turn," I looked at her questioningly, she couldn't have known. "To say you're sorry."

"Why should I say sorry?" I had to hold my front.

"For saying that I don't listen." She said it as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Well you don't." I couldn't make it obvious.

"I just did!"

"What, for like 30 seconds?" I had to mock her it was the only way she wouldn't suspect anything.

My mouth was open a little in shock, still hiding a small smile, "How can you say that I don't listen Finn?"

"Oh here we go blah blah blah!" _I_ smirked, making talking hand gestures.

"Finn! I listen to everyone-"Before she could finish her sentence, I decided that now was the best time. I hooked my arm around her neck and kissed her...yes...I actually kissed her. It took her a second to get over the shock, maybe she didn't want this. Then after what had seemed like a life time she kissed me back. Happy with my success I pulled away and smiled.

"Peace at last eh," I smiled and pulled her into a sideways hug. I let out a content sigh and let her snuggle into my side.

So much had changed since then. I wish it hadn't but there was nothing I could do about it. Not now. Instead i now had to watch my dead girlfriend.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Why couldn't things be as they were then? That day after day when she'd finally agreed to go out with me I'd spent every opportunity looking at her.

Things were so much simpler then.

A party. I'd planned to impress her with the best party that waterloo road had ever seen.

_I'm sorry I won't see you much today me and Ronan are 'borrowing' a load of equipment for school. I'll meet you later. This party's gunnna rock Waterloo Road history the old mill is such a sick place. Should be back by lunch. Love you babes. Finn xxxx_

It was lunch and I so wished she hadn't have seen me.

"It's gonna be an underground _movement_." I was boasting to the boys, we needed them to come.  
>"With benefits, if ya know what I mean..." Ronan added, making hand gestures, the others all laughed.<br>"As many girls as we can innit...all shapes and sizes." I grinned; though now I wished I hadn't.  
>"Sort of girls that are going, it's gonna be a right meat market."<br>"Yeah, such a pull-fest ya' know." Stupid me

Vicky leant down between me and Ronan, "Uh...not it won't, it's gonna be a right sausage-fest," I saw Ronan's head snap and his facial expression mirrored mine, "'Cos we're gonna tell all the girls at Waterloo Road to boycott your little loser party." She straightened up and started to walk away, turning to wait for Sam a few metres away.

Only then did I realise why she waited, I hadn't seen Sam. I wondered how much she'd heard but given her facial expression I guessed all. "Thanks Finn." She said, as she walked towards Vicki. This would probably be my only opportunity, so I jumped up and grabbed her arm. "Really shows how much you were into me."  
>"No! Sam I am-!" I began before she cut me off again.<br>"So why are you braggin' about getting with other girls?" Shit she had heard.  
>"I was just tryin' to make the boys-" I pleaded, she clearly knew I wasn not sure what to say. She turned and walked towards Vicki, "Sam I was just-" I called but she didn't stop.<br>"Leave it Finn." Vicky said arrogantly, "You're so chucked." She had no right to say that.

I'd spent the rest of the day trying to figure out a way to win her back. Ronan had the only idea. And since it was from Roman in true style it was awful.

I didn't manage to find her until the end of the day. I found her in the corridor and stopped her. "Sam, listen...I'm sorry for all that at lunch...it was just a sales pitch." I explained, trying not to sound cocky but sorry.  
>"Oh <em>please<em> Finn!" She sighed as I walked in front of her face and she finally slowed to a halt.  
>I took my opportunity and reached into my pocket, "Look...I would <em>really<em> like you to think about taking me back." I said, passing on the small leather box; like the ones you get jewellery in.

She took it undecidedly and opened it to reveal a silver bracelet with colourful beads on it; nice. She looked up at me, suspecting some ulterior motive it was lovely...expensive looking, I thought. "What's this?" she said naïvely.  
>"Well, try it on," I smirked.<p>

She looked back down at it and I actually saw her smile disbelievingly, then clapped the box shut, "You think I'm stupid Finn?" what where had this come from only seconds ago she looked happy, "What, you're trying to buy me off now?"  
>"No." He said like it was obvious.<br>"But th- What kind of girl do you think I am?"  
>"No, it's not like that-"<br>"You're just tryin' to soften me up so I'll get the other girls to come to your idiot party."  
>Exasperated that's how I felt, "I don't <em>care<em> about the other girls, as long as you're there."  
>She sighed, "Then why say all this other stuff about hooking up with girls?" I looked down, actually looking something near guilty now, "How'd you think that made me feel?"<br>"The whole reason I organised this party was to spend more time with you." I told her the truth.  
>"Well for your information the girls are coming." Did this mean she was to, "But, we'll be looking for decent guys...not losers like you." She pushed past me. She wasn't looking at me, did she see how hurt I was?<br>"Well what you sayin' then?" I called as she walked away.  
>"I'm sayin'...you've blown it Finn...we're over." WHAT?<p>

Time passed. Even though it seemed impossible to. I stood and just watched all the others kissing. I wished i had been kissing my Sam.

I was just standing there and she walked past me, "Look Sam; I'm sorry about what I said with the bracelet and all that." I said.  
>"No Finn, nothing's changed between us. I'm just here to have a good night with my friends." Damn!<p>

She was dancing with Lauren, Vicky and Amy (she'd never looked so good when) I spotted a group of older guys enter the room, making their way towards the DJ booth which was behind us. They looked about mid-twenties and were most definitely not invited.

She stepped in front of the clear leader; a tall guy with a bald head, "Get out!" She called over the music, pushing his chest slightly as he walked right up to her.

"Tell me, who organised this." He said in a menacing voice, I could hear people turning quieter and more people watching. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Lauren and Amy, then Ronan and Vicky leaving quickly. Jonah was left half asleep on the couch; totally oblivious. But I wasn't worried about that, I was more worried about the six fully grown guys in front of my Sam, mostly their leader who'd just smashed a bottle of vodka on the side and was holding it by its neck. My eyes flickered down to the jagged edge and I swallowed, what was going on?

"Did you not understand what I just said?" he shouted, leaning over her, so his face was close to hers, he raised the bottle up so it was almost touching the side of her neck.  
>I frowned, not appreciating him talking to her like an idiot, she nodded, "Yeah, I understood you, that does not mean I have to listen to you." She shouted back, she looked so hot when she was fighting back. Watching the faint surprise in his eyes before he pressed down a little with the bottle and I saw her wince at the feeling of the sharp edges digging into her skin. I wanted to stop it. I'd never wanted anything more.<p>

"I'll ask you one more time..." he said, walking her backwards slowly, "Who, put _this_, on?" I shouted her name and pushed him away from her.  
>"Oi, get away from her you. This is <em>my<em> party and you aren't invited." I shouted, I was ready to fight him. I would have done anything to protect her.

"Hey lads, here's the fellow who's stolen from us." The leader called back to his friends as they all laughed quietly. Suddenly he turned and smashed the rest of the bottle down on the DJ booth and I heard a few screams from around the room. He rounded on me again, "I wanna know why you think you can come in here and start messin' around with my property."  
>"I don't see your name on it; and it's here so why not." I retaliated, the guy blew out a deep breath before flying at me, grabbing my collar and driving me back until he hit me.<br>"Get off him! Leave him alone!" Sam yelled, I liked it when she stood up for me. It made me feel wanted and worthy.  
>"I've got a lot to lose on this now. So I want <em>you<em>, to pay me, what you owe." He said threateningly as I saw Sam struggling against their hold.  
>"I'm not paying you anything." Finn replied, acting like the big man.<p>

I sighed, "Just give him the money Finn." I called, giving up struggling. He glanced over at me and frowned before reaching into his pocket and throwing a twenty pound note at the guy.  
>"That's not enough." He said quietly, stepping in again.<br>"Look mate I'm sure we could sort something out yeah?" I said but the guy just punched me in the jaw, sending me to the ground.

I saw Mr Clarkson enter the room and I'd never been more happy to see a teacher.

"Don't tell me you invited your granddad." The guy taunted.  
>"If I were you I'd think about leaving," Mr Clarkson said threateningly.<p>

The guy stepped up into his face, "If I were you I'd think about leaving." He repeated, mocking him.  
>"Get out."<p>

"And whose gonna make me?" he shouted, just as our teacher grabbed the taller man by his collar and pushed him against another column.  
>"You will listen to me or we'll see what the police have to say. I'm sure they'd be happy to have a word...it's your choice." I was kind of impressed, who knew he could take on a gang leader.<p>

He laughed, pushing away, "You'll regret this...all of you," he said, looking at Finn, me then Mr Clarkson. Then he turned and headed out, the others let me go and followed quickly. I stumbled over to Finn and put my hand on his arm gently.  
>"You alright?" Mr Clarkson asked me.<p>

"Yeah...Yeah I'm fine." I replied, still high on my own adrenalin.  
>"Well you won't be when Mrs Fisher hears about this. And that goes for the rest of you," Tom shouted, addressing everyone, "Now get out of here the lot of you." Everyone began leaving the room in silence, not wanting to get into more trouble.<p>

We followed everyone outside; Sam stuck tight to me, even though she didn't say anything. Did this mean she'd forgiven me? Once outside the crowd dispersed quickly; Me, Sam, Nate and Josh headed over to Mr Clarkson's car and waited for him. When he came over he looked furious.

"You lot are supposed to be responsible! I can't believe you'd all be so stupid." He scolded us, "You shouldn't have even been drinking and _you,_" he looked at me, "could have been seriously hurt." I looked at him as he looked down, feeling almost proud but more annoyed at his stupidity, "You'll all get detentions for a month...at least."  
>"No Sir it was my party I should take full blame." I said, this could possibly be my last chance no impress her.<br>"We'll about that in the morning, now get in the car." He turned to talk to Ms Montoya, who I'm not sure where she came from, and we turned to the car. Josh got in the front, and then Nate in the back and I opened the other door for Sam to get in.  
>"Finn, I just wanna say that that was really cool." She smiled hesitantly at me.<br>I smirked, "It was my party, I had to take the blame didn't I."  
>"No...I mean, jumping in and saving me and that. Even if it was stupid."<br>I looked down and shrugged, I knew she was tight but it was too late now. "I wasn't gonna let them touch you like that Sam."  
>"You're alright Finn Sharkey." She told me before putting a hand on my shoulder and leaning up and kissing me. I couldn't fight the urge, I smiled into the kiss and wrapped my arms around her waist. Nothing could tear us apart now.<br>"Get in the car Sharkey." Mr Clarkson sighed as he walked past us. Sam blushed and slipped inside with a smile as he said something else.

I miss that day. What had started out so wrong had all worked itself out and it in fact brought us closer.

She looked so hot that day. So hot and full of life and now she lay here; so lifeless and pale. She still looked to me. She always would and I would never forget my princess.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I scanned back over the letter she'd written as I was asleep. I was so upset. Mainly because I hadn't been awake when she died. Yes I would have tried and stopped her if I'd have been awake but it was her decision and I would have respected it.

Time passes, even when it seems impossible. And as the time passes you have plenty of time to reflect. Like the time that we did the school play. Yes I know we had the problem with Kyle but if that hadn't have happened and I hadn't have gone up the train bridge to save Den I would never have been as close to Sam as I had been.

I'd remembered when I was in hospital, she was so supportive. She helped me everyday twenty-four seven. Since my mum and dad were in America when it happened I had no one except my Sam. She'd even agreed to run around after me and be there for my every need. She was like my surrogate mother. She'd cooked, cleaned and cared for me. I knew there and then that she'd be a great mother. I only wished she'd had chance to be a real mother.

That summer was the best summer of my life. Besides the fact that I had everyone running around for me and didn't have to do anything; I got to see Sam every waking second of the day. And it had seemed that no matter what she was wearing or whatever mood she was in she still managed to take my breath away.

That summer we'd become inseparable. She'd even slept around a few nights mainly when we'd fallen asleep in front of the television with a film on and a pizza on the floor. And the last night before my parents came back she got everyone round and made sure we had the best party in the world before she had to go home and my parents would be back and it'd be back to normality.

Even when they were back we spent every available second together and when my mum told me that her and dad were going away for one last weekend before I went back to school; the only thing I could think of doing was having Sam around. After much persuading she agreed and after another party she'd finally agreed to sleep with me. That was the best 2 days of life. Party, girlfriend, film, pizza and generally a great time.

Things just kept getting better and better that week. That was until we had to go to school. It seemed like after that everything went wrong.

The very day before we went back I got a frantic text from Denzil saying that Sam'd gone to the opticians because she's woken up and was effectively blind. In true I'd rushed over to go and see her. Being Sambuca Kelly she'd told me everything was fine, and to stop worrying. All she said was that she'd have to occasionally wear glasses but that it was nothing big because she'd never wear them.

I'd walked her to school the next day and I could tell something was wrong only I didn't want to say anything because I knew she'd just say that I was being silly and tell me to stop worrying. Then in Miss Chaudry's lesson I'd humiliated her. If I'd have known then that that her poor eye sight was cancer I'd have said nothing and just have left it as it was. I mean a lot of people wear glasses and it's nothing big. So why when it's my girlfriend does it bother me so much?

I was so naïve that day. I'd looked past the glasses and got over it but when she had to write that essay and she physically couldn't concentrate or write properly I should have known something was wrong. Why couldn't I have been brave and tell her that I didn't think something was right? Because I'm a coward that's why. I can't bear the thought of anything happening to my princess.

I overlooked it. Though now looking back it seems really apparent that something was wrong everything she did seemed to drain her.

When I went to pick her up to walk her to school the next day I was surprised when Denzil met me at the door.  
>"Sam's coming in to school a bit later; she should be in by the time class starts but she's getting a lift. She told me to tell you she's sorry she couldn't tell you personally that she wouldn't be here but she didn't know until last night that she was going and in true Kelly style she couldn't find her phone." Denzil sounded so calm, which in a way calmed me at the time and I assumed from his tone that nothing was wrong. Oh how wrong I was?<br>"So why's she gone to the hospital then?" I had to ask I mean after all she was my princess.  
>"Oh yeah I forgot to tell you. When she got back from school after Tom gave her a lift she had a fit on the grass and she's been having really bad migraines. They're worried it's all linked the fit's the migraines the poor vision and the vomiting but Sam's having none of it. I'm really scared. I mean she's all I've got. Earl's in prison, Marley's at uni and Prince is too young to understand. And there's stuff that I can't talk to mum about." I could see that Denzil was genuinely worried even though he wouldn't let it show.<br>"Don't worry mate I'll be here for you no matter what. And like you said what ever gets the best of Sam. She'll be fine. But if you hear anything before me make sure you tell me, I want to be one of the first to know. I'll be here if you need anything." My voice was breaking at the end of every sentence. The truth being I was petrified in case anything serious had happened to my Sam.

When we finally got to school I was a mess. I didn't know what to do with myself. I knew Sam'd be fine but I had that little voice in the back of my head saying what if. After I'd explained to Lauren, Amy and Josh why Sam wasn't here I went to play some football. That normally took my mind off things.

When she did arrive she looked scared and venerable. It took me a minute to compose myself before I went to talk to her. And in that 30 seconds from when she'd arrived to when I'd got there she'd already managed to ask where I was. After a mini game of 20 questions about how she was Kyle and Harry turned up. In true style they managed to lift the mood. I was glad to see her smile. Like properly smile not the fake smile she had on her face before when she'd walked in the gate. I knew something was wrong as her smile was all wrong; I mean I knew her better than all the others possibly with the exception of Lauren. I decided to ignore the falseness for now as I knew it would only make her upset if I questioned it.

I didn't get to have a proper conversation with her until after English when we were walking to PE. Even then I should have sensed that something was wrong by the way she reacted when I brought up the topic of the future.

I didn't see her again until the career's fair where I learned that some new perv called Martin had been in the girls changing room messing with all their stuff. It made me so angry I could have kicked the crap out of him but it was a good job that Sam'd come and stopped me otherwise I think I probably would.

The only word I could use to describe that day would be weird as now and only now do I realise why she managed to empathise so well with Martin. I guess it gave her a chance to not be the weird one. I was upset that she couldn't come and tell me that day; but then I guess that's Sam for you. Kind and considerate and would rather suffer in silence on her own, than inflict the pain upon her friends. She was so kind. She was so considerate. She was truly amazing.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I wish she'd have been right when she said it was just severe migraines.

When we'd walked home that day she'd told me that it was actually cancer. As she told me this we broke down and started crying her eyes out. I was shocked more than anything. How could this happen to my Sam. But I thought she'd get over it, I mean people get diagnosed with cancer every day and they can cure most cancers now. As we sat down on our bench at the park she explained that they suspected it was incurable and that there was a huge chance that she wouldn't make it to her 18th birthday; then I started to cry. I cried knowing that whatever time I had left with her would be minimal and that as her cancer developed she might not even have the strength to leave the house. She showed me all the tablets she had to take. I was shocked to see 7 different boxes all with a different dosage. I just wanted to make it all go away. I just wanted my Sam to be how she was before the term had started.

After much deliberation she explained that she was sure it wouldn't be terminal and that she'd get over it. I remember when I'd seen her at school the next day. I remember how well she'd looked. I also remembered how surprised I'd been when she'd showed me Tom and Rose that video saying she knew she wasn't going to survive.

Then there was Blackpool. If I'd have known that that would be the last day I ever got to spend with her; I'd have made it more memorable. I would have done everything she asked and more. I hope to think that I made her last day memorable and one of the best of her life. I know it was one of mine. Of course I was going to miss her. I didn't know how I would get on without her to cheer me up every day. I just generally didn't know how I was going to survive without my little princess.

What annoys me most is that I didn't get to say goodbye properly. I'd have been there for her last few seconds. I wouldn't have left her side. But now she's gone and all I have left is my memories. My memories that will never fade. I will also have everything that she left behind. What to everyone else looked like useless rubbish, to me was one of the few things I had left of her.

As I looked from her last letter to her fragile body and then to the picture of me and her after she'd slept round and I think for the hundredth time that day. Only this time I couldn't stop. I couldn't stop for I knew that my soul mate, my best friend, my girl friend, my Sam would never wake up or smile or say my name.

That was it she was gone and I couldn't do anything. But I had to obey her. I couldn't do anything that she would think wrong. I had to _honour_ her.

**A/N – I hope that you liked it and I'm sorry that it wasn't written very well. But thank you for reading and helping me to peruse my dream of writing. I hope to keep writing and that every story of mine will be read by so many that have read this one. Thanks**


End file.
